A Great Weekend

This past weekend, I was blessed to have the opportunity to attend the annual conference for MACHE--MN Association of Christian Home Educators--in Duluth. What an awesome experience!! It was my first opportunity to go, and it will take an earthquake to keep me away next year!

I and my sister in law, Maia, left on Thursday afternoon. After we deposited our total of 9 children at various grandparents' homes, we headed north, positively giddy at the thought of nearly 3 days OUT! I love my life, I love my home and children, but this is the first time I've ever had an extended outing like this, and boy, did I need it. We went out for chinese food (yum!) and then headed to our hotel, where two other friends met us. We stayed at the Edgewater, so Thursday evening was spent at the waterpark. It was fun, and we got into a war in the lazy river and surprisingly weren't asked to leave. :o) Suffice it to say, we were all quite ready for bed that night.

Friday was so encouraging. I shopped at the used books sale and in the exhibit hall, and God spoke so clearly to me about what I should and shouldn't buy. I know some of you will think I'm nuts, but I could literally hear the Lord say "yes" or "no" to each and every book I picked up. My favorite purchase was 6 albums of Adventures in Odyssey for $20! They were brand new and on clearance for $3/album, when they usually cost $17 apiece.

When I got there, I was still undecided about which seminars to attend. The only thing I knew was that there were a couple I was NOT going to go to. Guess which ones I ended up in?? Yep. Those. It turned out to be just exactly what I needed. How does God DO that?? So, the day was really encouraging an equipping for me, and I was ready for a new start at home. I went to bed on a high that night, from all I had learned and discovered about myself and life in general. Then came Saturday. Ugh.

I got to the DECC Sat. morning with great anticipation. It turned out that my first seminar hit really close to my heart in a way I never expected. It was one of those moments where the Lord lays my heart bare and shows me what's really there that I'd either been hiding or been unaware of. I left the DECC after that and spent a good share of time sobbing and writing in my journal, processing, repenting, asking forgiveness, and then being loved and refreshed, and given a new direction. That's the thing about God. . . he never points out a problem without also giving the solution. I went back for the remaining two seminars, though I was pretty much spent by that time and just sitting there, still thinking and processing. I am so grateful to have had friends there who listened to me talk and cry, and then prayed for me and understood what I was feeling.

All told, it was a life-changing experience, and I thank God he worked it out for me to attend. Now comes the hard work of implementing in my day to day life all that I have learned. . . but HE will be faithful to walk before me, behind me, and beside me as I work it all out.

Emerging from a Cocoon

I have long been plagued by feelings of inadequacy. No matter who I am with, I just don't feel like I measure up. One of the biggest areas in which I feel this is my household. I feel that I can clean and clean and clean and the place is still dirty and still a dump. People are very gracious about it, which I appreciate, letting me off the hook because I homeschool or because I have several children, or whatever. However, I've always felt the Lord in the background saying "There is a better way, you can have a tidy home and homeschool and have several children all at the same time. . ." Understand me. . . He never makes me feel that I am not measuring up, or that I am failing, but He does nudge me gently and remind me that there is always room for improvement and that my day to day life should not be a black cloud of frustration and constant striving. Tonite God made it clear to me through our Bible study (the topic was "work") that the key to the whole thing is my attitude. Perhaps you are saying "duh!" but stick with me here. . . my house has always reflected ME. This is MY house, and if it's a pit, people will think poorly of ME. You know what??? This isn't my house. It's HIS house. These are HIS children. I am but a steward. The Lord God Almighty, who created and controls the universe, placed ME in charge of this bit of HIS creation, HIS property. He lets me call it mine, but how different my attitude and my heart are when I consider that I am caring for my Master's belongings. I can take great joy in the proper placement of my effort and energy. . . working and striving joyfully to please The One who has given me all these things. I can look at my home differently, I can interact with my children differently if I realize they reflect upon the One whom I love most. It's not about me, it's about my Savior, Jesus. If I keep my eyes on Him and just do my best to please Him in everything I do, it'll all come right in the end. And you know what? On those days that the house is a wreck I can still smile, knowing that He is pleased with me anyway, because my Heart trusts in Him. What more can I ask for?? I don't measure up. I am human. He measures up through me, and that's so much better.