Emerging from a Cocoon

I have long been plagued by feelings of inadequacy. No matter who I am with, I just don't feel like I measure up. One of the biggest areas in which I feel this is my household. I feel that I can clean and clean and clean and the place is still dirty and still a dump. People are very gracious about it, which I appreciate, letting me off the hook because I homeschool or because I have several children, or whatever. However, I've always felt the Lord in the background saying "There is a better way, you can have a tidy home and homeschool and have several children all at the same time. . ." Understand me. . . He never makes me feel that I am not measuring up, or that I am failing, but He does nudge me gently and remind me that there is always room for improvement and that my day to day life should not be a black cloud of frustration and constant striving. Tonite God made it clear to me through our Bible study (the topic was "work") that the key to the whole thing is my attitude. Perhaps you are saying "duh!" but stick with me here. . . my house has always reflected ME. This is MY house, and if it's a pit, people will think poorly of ME. You know what??? This isn't my house. It's HIS house. These are HIS children. I am but a steward. The Lord God Almighty, who created and controls the universe, placed ME in charge of this bit of HIS creation, HIS property. He lets me call it mine, but how different my attitude and my heart are when I consider that I am caring for my Master's belongings. I can take great joy in the proper placement of my effort and energy. . . working and striving joyfully to please The One who has given me all these things. I can look at my home differently, I can interact with my children differently if I realize they reflect upon the One whom I love most. It's not about me, it's about my Savior, Jesus. If I keep my eyes on Him and just do my best to please Him in everything I do, it'll all come right in the end. And you know what? On those days that the house is a wreck I can still smile, knowing that He is pleased with me anyway, because my Heart trusts in Him. What more can I ask for?? I don't measure up. I am human. He measures up through me, and that's so much better.