An Odd Response

As I post this, I am reminded how much God is not like me. In a good way. While I see only my pitiful little surroundings, He has a whole other thing going on. I'm really glad for that. He always does so much better than I could! Let me explain.
Our family has been going through a pretty rough patch lately, for several reasons. The biggest of those is financial. Don't misunderstand--we have never missed a meal, have a dry, warm house and many, many blessings. I am so grateful for all that we have.
All of that notwithstanding, quite a few things have happened in a rather domino-like fashion and some days I have been faced with a major decision. I have two choices. I can decide that He is indeed Enough--or I can decide that I am better off on my own. If He IS enough, He is enough. Period. It doesn't matter what befalls me or what I lose (or what I gain, for that matter)--I can rely on the Lord to carry me through. Of course I will struggle, I will hurt, I will cry, I will probably default to anger and despair. However, I will always know that He is orchestrating every iota of my life and that He has a much higher purpose for me than I give him credit for.

I have been pondering these things and praying and not getting very far in my attitude adjustment. Then last night I went to pray with my friend, who understands better than anyone else on earth the situation in which I find myself. We talked things over for a bit and then went to prayer. I was amazed to find, once again, that the Spirit dwelling within me prays through me and for me. I was quite surprised to find myself "asking." I spend much time asking God for some things--like things for other people. I also pray alot that I will be obedient, that I will be content, that I will accept whatever it is that God is doing in my life, even though I don't understand it. That's a good way to pray, I think. However, I think I have been missing a huge piece of the puzzle. For some reason, I have always felt that 'contentment' by nature means that I desired nothing more than what I have. That if I asked for 'stuff' or for my circumstances to change, that was being discontent. Couple that with the misunderstanding that Christians should take a vow of poverty and never expect anything else and you'll see why it doesn't occur to me to 'ask.' So I was praying and suddenly the verse "Ask and it shall be given unto you. . . " came to mind. For the first time in--well, maybe years--I actually asked that God would not only 'provide' (that seems to insinuate barely covering necessities for survival) but that He would "bless me" and "do exceedingly abundantly beyond anything I could ever ask or imagine." It occurred to me that we often are in want for lack of asking. Jacob, in the Bible, wrestled with God. He said "I will not let you go until you bless me." I really believe that God wants to bless us. Exceedingly. Abundantly. Beyond what we could ask or imagine. Does this mean I'll get a Mercedes and a trip to the Bahamas? Probably not. Could it? Absolutely. Suddenly I found myself asking that the Lord would prosper our businesses and our farm. That He would bless and bless. That turned into asking what I can give to someone else! (Caught me off guard, to say the least!) I prayed that He would provide opportunities for me to give of my time, my money, my stuff. That He would bring to mind needs that I can meet, even though I feel my resources are limited. I have been incredibly blessed today--the Lord gave me not one, not two, but FOUR opportunities to give. The first two were items that, in the scheme of life, are pretty inconsequential. They were received with gratitude, though--that made it all the sweeter. The third was the opportunity to give some time to help someone get started in a new venture--one in which I have some experience and knowledge. It wasn't a big deal, but was appreciated, nonetheless. The fourth was a very (very!) small gift of money.
I am completely overwhelmed at the joy and blessing that comes from looking outward rather than inward; seeing others' needs rather than focusing on my own. I am learning, learning, and I am so grateful for a patient Teacher.
How incredible that The God of All Mercy would use my time of need to show me how to give.