On Surrender. . .

I have been learning alot lately about surrender. A few weeks ago, I prayed that the Lord would change me. Wow. I guess I wasn't asking for major overhaul. . . apparently, that is what the Lord felt I needed. Actually, I don't know if He's even overhauling me as much as he is asking me to put my money where my mouth is. I am constantly praying to commit things in my life to God, and in the last three weeks, He has tested that committment and asked me to give up more than I've had to give up in a really long time.
My 4 year old son had an accident at the babysitter's, in which a pony stood on his foot and Shane, in a panic, twisted around to try to free himself. The short story is that he broke the top of his tibia (just inside the knee joint) and required surgery. The long story would take too long to tell. . . suffice to say that the medical "help" he received throughout the ordeal has been like a three ring circus. Shane and I have had countless hours in medical facilities, and I have had countless frustrations with clinic/hospital staff that I am working to forgive. Thankfully, in the end, God provided an EXCELLENT staff at St. Mary's with a fabulous surgeon.
Along this medical excursion, I have had to surrender the following things (among others):

Control of my household
Control of my schedule
Consistency in homeschooling
My son (in the sense of trusting God to bring him through surgery and general anesthesia)
My chickens (a story in itself--I had to sell them)
My horse (another story--he's going blind and I can't safely keep him)
A litter of 5 newborn puppies--no obvious reason for their deaths
Fellowship in person with believers--missing church, no time for visits/prayer
Discipline/Training of my children, who tend to go downhill in the absence of their mother
A special, long-planned visit for my eldest daughter with a missionary

I am writing this after a total meltdown. I have so looked forward to going to church tomorrow and it looks like the children now have pinkeye, so I may have to surrender even my fellowship with the Body. I am not looking for pity, I am not being a martyr. I'm just sharing my raw feelings in a tough situation that seems endless.
There have been several things that God has done to make Himself so clearly known. . . at one point, Shane had to lay still for 45 minutes (I mean perfectly still) for an MRI. Conscious sedation in a 4 year old can be quite risky, and we were praying we wouldn't have to go that route. After the first couple tries, it was obvious he just couldn't lay still enough. I started praying. I felt the Spirit of God decend on us in that room, and Shane FELL ASLEEP. For those who haven't had an MRI, you are put into a tube, and all around you hammers bang and knock. It is so loud they make you wear headphones with additional "pleasant" noise piped in. My boy slept through the entire thing, not moving a muscle. It was totally God.
After the last of my puppies died, and a subsequent meltdown, I asked God if He had a scripture to encourage me. Instantly "Jeremiah 17:10" came to mind. I looked it up and found this. . . "I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve." I realized right then that I am indeed being tested, and that my reward (there will be one sooner or later) will be in direct proportion to how well I handle the trials I am facing. So far, the reward won't be great. I'm not handling things as well as I should be. However, more than ever before in my life, I'm learning the meaning of the word "surrender" and what it means to truly trust in the One Who Gives Me Life. I know beyond a doubt that God has a purpose in all of this, and that it is for the good of His Kingdom and for His glory.
Just keep reminding me of that, would you?